I've just written a lot of words that probably aren't that interesting to people that aren't me. Here are fewer words for people that aren't me:

1. A lot of men in red dresses went jogging past my house tonight.

2. My MP3 player has a major crush on Tom Petty.
- posted by Darcey @ 8:20 PM

 
What I Did On My Summer Vacation, Part 3

Must write... memory fading...

Thursday

Joe has never been to a Sonic, because, despite their extensive advertising campaign here, there aren't actually any locations in Binghamton. So we took him to one in Florida. Then we took him back to space. We went back to the Kennedy Space Center, and this time they launched us into space and we walked on the moon. That might have been a ride and a movie, but like I said, my memory is fading fast.

Later that day, we saw a full rainbow over the ocean - not just a little piece of one, but one end to the other.

Then that night we started down a dangerous path - we decided to try to play tennis. I know it should have been obvious that this was a bad idea - me, sports. We walked past the two courts at 10 pm (an hour before they stopped handing out equipment). They were empty. We entered the lobby and got in line to get the balls and rackets. And we waited. And then we waited some more. And then we got to the front of the line. And they asked us for ID that they could hold for the equipment. And of course we hadn't brought any. So we headed back to the room, walking past the tennis courts - one of which was now taken. We got the ID, headed back towards the lobby, and... found people walking out of the lobby toward the second tennis court with the very equipment we were trying to acquire. And so ended attempt #1 at tennis.

Friday

Friday we didn't really have too much to do. We picked up some shells on the beach (there weren't too many), and then we were going to go back and pick up a couple little extra souvenirs. I'd been looking for a deck of cards and remembered seeing some at Ron Jon's, where'd we'd already been. So we went back, and I headed for the checkout counter where the cards were. And the salesman started chatting with me - he seemed to have a lot of questions. And then he started asking me if I liked water parks and would want to go to one. And actually, we had discussed doing that very thing. I had uncovered a psychic surf board checkout guy.

But I digress. I must go on with my story, despite being a little bit embarrassed...

And so he told me that Ron Jon's had a resort with a water park. And that is how I came to agree to sit through a time share sales pitch.

For sitting through a 90 minute presentation, we received a day pass to the resort and $25 gift certificate. It was a relatively easy 90 minutes (and possibly not even that bad of an idea for someone older and wealthier) - it was really only a few minutes at the end that we had to spend telling them no. Then, of course, they were displeased and left us to sit and think about what we had done before we could get our prizes. But eventually, prizes we got.

The water park wasn't much of a park, but there was a pleasant lazy river, and 9 holes of mini golf where I could break our tie and prove my putt putt supremacy once and for all. There was another slight glitch - what was supposed to be $25 for use at the resort restaurant turned out to be $25 for use at the surf shop. But that worked out okay - we'd already spent about that much. We just returned Joe's t-shirt and bought it again with the gift certificate. And so my rare turn at actually listening to a salesman didn't turn out half bad.

Then it was time to leave and venture back to the lowly Holiday Inn, where we attempted once again to... [insert threatening music here] play tennis. Once again, we saw two empty courts as we headed for the lobby. However, when we got inside, all the equipment had just been given to two little girls. And that is how we came to stalk two little girls. They went to one of the courts, stood around for a while, held the rackets, moved around the court, chatted - no tennis. Suddenly they left, and we followed sneakily behind with our super spy skills that were no match for third graders. We were going to pounce when those rackets got returned. But, alas, it was not to be. The rackets were not returned - they were invited to a large party.

And so we failed again, and headed to the hotel's Mambo's beachside bar. (Is anyone else like Joe and I, in that you suddenly hear that song from the Olive Garden commercials when I say the word Mambo's? Sorry, never mind, you had to be there I guess.) Anyway, we entertained ourselves watching our fellow hotel guests karaoke. (Well, hotel guests and also those couple of old men who carry around their own CDs of karaoke of the '40s and seem to show up anywhere I've ever seen karaoke.)

Saturday

And so we reach the last day. We headed out to the beach that morning, when the actual space shuttle (i.e., not the one that we rode to space on) was scheduled to land at the space center. Right on schedule, we heard the shuttle on its way in. Unfortunately, for some reason, NASA seemed to be thinking of things other than tourists when planning the landing and it didn't actually come in over the ocean, so we didn't get to see it. Joe's camera was disappointed, as it did not get the chance to take several bazillion more pictures, like it would have if a shuttle had actually come into sight. The camera was also our excuse for not getting Joe's hands all sunscreen-y and so was the reason we burned our backs on the very last day - we'd been doing so well since the first day.

Then it was off to a third and final trip to the Ron Jon's shop - to orchestrate our t-shirt exchange. We also bought some booze, for the purpose of re-filling the bottle with sand, and we discovered the longest Subway line I've seen since Wash U.

Sadly, then, it was time for me to say my goodbyes to the beach. The saddest part of all was the ocean was the nicest it had been all week. We were able to sit in the water and carry on a conversation without salt water up our nose every 30 seconds. Unfortunately, the lovely lack of crashing waves was also accompanied by jellyfish, which Joe seemed not to like for some reason or another. So my goodbye to the calm sea was cut short.

And then came 6 pm, [more threatening music], when they start handing out the tennis equipment. We entered the lobby promptly, only to find a line of check-ins going out the door. We left promptly. We played air hockey. The score lights were broken so Joe's never scored - so as far as the table was concerned, I won yet again, 7-0. There's no need to get into the real score.

Anyway, we headed back to the lobby. No line, no waiting, we acquired tennis rackets and a container of 2 tennis balls! We walked outside to our pick of two empty courts! We had it all! We were going to play tennis! It was almost too good to be true. And of course it was. Joe opened the container of 2 balls and let them fall to the ground. And there they landed, with a thud. Busted apart at the seams. There was not the slightest indication that it they had ever bounced. This makes tennis difficult. I tried serving some wood chips. They didn't get very far. And there it was - our tennis dream completely and finally crushed. That's what I get for thinking I might be able to play sports. Serves me right.

So we ventured once more to Mambo's (requesting a table in the shade, requiring some acrobatics from the waitress to get to us), and I ventured into the world of seafood one last time - crabcakes. Unfortunately, Mambo's seemed to make their crabcakes out of celery, and I didn't find my celery sandwich all that tasty. The key lime pie, however, was quite nice.

There was no karaoke that night, so, after a couple bazillion more pictures, we spread out to other hotels in search of some more fine singing to bring our final evening to a close. Karaoke was found - but it was accompanied by a lot of smoking. If you travel from New York to Florida, this is something you will notice. People will smoke in every conceivable public space. So perhaps, as an end, that gives me a reason to come home - I can find less cancerous karaoke to entertain me.

Wait, actually, that's not a good reason at all. Now that I've finished all the work of typing, can I go back on vacation?
- posted by Darcey @ 4:34 PM

 
What I Did On My Summer Vacation, Part 2

Monday

Monday we went to the Kennedy Space Center. I expected to find a few exhibits and maybe a little tour. What we got was a 2-day admission ticket, that we needed all of. The tour was 3 hours long. If you want to know more, I will have to set up a link to Joe's 5 bazillion pictures. Then we went to look at the rocket garden, and it was hot, so I walked into a fountain. Then I was wet.

Then we went to a seafood restaurant. Since I was in Florida, I decided to try to overcome my Midwestern bias for cow, and I had some shrimp.

Tuesday

Tuesday was not the most productive of days. We didn't want to go to the beach in the height of the sun. So first we went souvenir shopping, at Ron Jon's Surf Shop, which we had heard was the place to shop. Then there was still more time. So we went to the mall. The mall turned out to be the largest mall I've ever seen without a single store you've ever heard of or would like to go in. Odd.

So then we went outside, thinking it would be getting close to beach time. Unfortunately, it was instead time to rain. Sad.

But eventually it was time for ice cream, to commemorate the day three years before when we met over mint chocolate chip ice cream on the Epic new hire tour of Madison. Sweet.

Then we tried to be adult-like again and explore Cocoa Beach's night life. But we had read that Cocoa Beach was one of the more family friendly Florida beaches. This seemed to be true, as two out of three places we tried to go were closed, and the third place wasn't really our kind of stop. Also sad.

So we still wanted to do something. We decided to head to the movie theater. At this point, there was only one movie left for the night - Don't Mess With the Zohan. Sadder. And thus passed Tuesday.

Wednesday

The next day we were awoken by a fire breathing dragon. Or at least that was the sound I heard. I think it was actually some sort of cleaning equipment.

Anyway, this day we wanted to go exploring beyond Cocoa Beach. We headed to Daytona. The beach proved to be much the same as Cocoa Beach, a little colder and possibly slightly bigger waves.

But beyond the beach, we did find a little more entertainment. I won't discuss how round 2 of mini golf went, but I did manage to make a pretty good deal on Deal or No Deal - I won 102 tickets, enough to purchase several cheap plastic toys. We also found some more shrimp at Bubba Gump's (Gump as in Forrest). But eating the shrimp proved to be a little difficult, as the first plate they brought me they ended up on the booth next to me instead of the table. And NO, I didn't do it, the waiter did. And at least I didn't try to do my dishes for the restaurant, like Joe tried to clean out his glass. But that's a different story.

As one might expect, we found Daytona to have a bit more in terms of nighttime activity. And so we stayed there, possibly longer than was wise. And then we tried to drive back to Cocoa Beach, at least after Joe figured out how to open the gas tank on the rental car. Somehow he made it back - I know I was not awake the whole time, though I tried my hardest to keep Joe awake with my amazing vocal skills. Well, there might not have been much skill involved, but I think it would have been hard to sleep while I was making such noise - it was sort of like the fire-breathing dragon that started off the morning.

And once again, that's as much as I feel like typing tonight. But hopefully I can complete my little travel journal in one more installment, before work has faded away all the memories. To be continued again...
- posted by Darcey @ 6:44 PM

 
What I Did On My Summer Vacation

I went to Cocoa Beach, FL. I wrote some little notes about what I did so I would remember, and now I would like to turn the notes into sentences before I forget anyway because work makes me sleepy. So here is my travel journal.

Saturday
We drove north to get to Florida (to the Syracuse airport). We got on a JetBlue airplane. There happens to be a JetBlue commercial on the tv as I type. JetBlue lets you watch television for the whole flight. And they give you snacks. For free.

The plane went to Orlando, and then we went to Cocoa Beach (with Jeanie and Major Nelson), which is an hour away. We were staying at the Holiday Inn Resort. It was quite the high class place compared to our other trip to Florida two years ago. There was maid service, and they cleaned the swimming pool. Also there were two restaurants, and a pirate ship, and tennis courts. But more about the tennis courts later. Anyway, we found our hotel and it was good, and we found Denny's to feed us at 11 pm, and then we went to sleep.

Sunday
We had to eat something before I could play on the beach, so we went to the hotel breakfast buffet. There we learned that the hotel thought pretty highly of itself too. 18% gratuity was included in every bill - for things that generally don't warrant 18% worth of tipping, like buffets, bar drinks, and generally bad waitresses.

So no more hotel breakfasts, but that meant it was time for the beach. I enjoyed myself quite thoroughly, but in this regard, our previous trip may have had the advantage. In Tampa two years ago, we could bob in nice pleasant little waves for hours. The east coast of Florida is a little choppier. There was a lot water crashing on our heads. Also, whenever you take white northerners and put them on a beach, there is some burning. Joe forgot the sunscreen on his forehead. I forgot it under the nose, so I got a nice red mustache. And also a nice red Rudolph nose, even though that part was sunscreened. And so for the rest of the week, I got my red and white little face a nice visor.

And then we took poor burnt, water-logged Joe away from the beach. And beat him mercilessly. I made an amazing putt-putt comeback, followed by an even more amazing air hockey victory. I was down 6-0, and then I won! Victory is mine!

And then we went to the swimming pool in the nighttime, past the bedtime of most of the screaming, splashing children, like we were adults. Crazy, I know.

And see now I'm sleepy, and I've only gotten through two days. To be continued...
- posted by Darcey @ 8:00 PM

 
Various things that I have done:

1. I have a new phone number. Let me know if you would like it.

2. I'm going back to school. In Alabama. (The first place anybody looks for higher education, naturally.) Except I'll be in New York. We will communicate over the magical interweb, except in August when I will venture to Tuscaloosa to be oriented. I am going to be a librarian or information scientist.

3. I have tried on wedding dresses. Through the aforementioned magical interweb, you can see pictures of these if you want. They are here, I think:
Wedding Dress Pictures
If you look at them, please let me know which ones you like. I have numbered them. (They are just the models from the store, so they don't all quite fit and they aren't all zipped/buttoned/laced/tied up, but apparently they can make all sorts of things fit anybody, and to my surprise, I like lots of them, and I seem to look better in white than off-white.)

On this wedding-ish topic, we also have a theoretical date, 8-8-09. Next we must procure a church and a reception site, and then we can actually start planning things for real.
- posted by Darcey @ 7:05 PM

 
So how many trips to the DMV does it take Darcey to get a New York license and plates? Well, four, of course! Plus, naturally, two calls to the insurance company and two trips to a mechanic (not because there was anything wrong with my insurance or my car, just because New York is that full of itself that they like to make you do these sorts of things).

Lessons learned from each stop of my trip:
1. The Saturday before Easter is a holiday in DMV-Land because "they deserve time off too" - never mind the facts that no one else on the rest of the planet gets holiday time off for Easter, or that the DMV already gets plenty more actual holidays off than the rest of us, or that this day isn't even on the nicely-typed list of holidays that they post right on their door.
2. Those regular insurance cards that the insurance companies send out to the rest of the country clearly aren't good enough for a New Yorker.
3. You need a birth certificate to prove you were born. (Never mind what identification the website tells you that you need.) Clearly, when some mediocre state that isn't New York issued you a license, they weren't nearly as careful as New York, so their ID shouldn't be trusted to prove that you were born.
4. Insurance cards are good for 6 months, but they are only good for getting New York registration for 45 days. If you show up after 48 days (because it was a holiday in DMV-land when you showed up after a legal 40 days), you will be sent away.
5. If you call your insurance company, they have a special ability to falsify the effective date of your insurance card in New York, so you can get your registration according to the laws of the state, because New York values a random date within 45 days much more than an accurate date.
6. After you have found a non-DMV-land holiday, your birth certificate, and a New York insurance card with a date that New York likes, you will be given a little piece of paper with your name and no picture and told to use that as your license until your actual photo ID arrives in 3 to 5 weeks, to give the magical elves enough time to weave the license together from angel dust. One of those run-of-the-mill printers that those other inferior states use to print off licenses right then and there in front of you clearly would not be good enough for New York. Until the elves are finished, you will twiddle your thumbs and not buy booze or get on an airplane.
7. After you have paid the good state for your little piece of paper, you must find a mechanic with a big yellow sign and pay them 20 more dollars to inspect your car and determine that it is in fact a running automobile and not just a random pile of aluminum that you just spent two weeks trying to get license plates for.
8. But when you find the mechanic, you must schedule an appointment for the next day, because clearly you couldn't schedule an appointment for an hour from now when they say they can get you in if you stayed there instead of leaving and coming back.

And then when you're all done, you drive off much the same way you somehow managed to do before the state of New York had graced you with the honor of its legitimacy.
- posted by Darcey @ 8:20 PM

 
Aren't taxes just the best? They're even more the bestest when you get to file them in two different states.

Most of the fun comes from TurboTax, the software you purchase thinking it will make things easier. They will give you the great privilege of a second state's tax returns for a mere $35. In other words, the price of the whole program all over again.

Then there is the issue that Joe and I are both trying to use the same copy. This is supposed to be legal and everything - I even looked through that agreement that no one ever reads when they install something, and it said you can install it on more than one computer in the same household. BUT the problem with purchasing a second state for us is that you need to download another file. Again, this isn't even a legal problem - they even let you download more than one copy. But it turns out we need each need a different file - Joe for his Mac, and me for my... other thing that dare not speak its name in the presence of a Mac owner. So Joe has bought his, but I'm still waiting to figure out if I need to buy yet one more state.

In the meantime, I have filled out my "partial year resident" Wisconsin form. Apparently, moving out of Wisconsin gives Wisconsin the right to interrogate you.

-Did you buy a house in your new state? Why not?: so exactly how are they going to use my reason for renting in New York to figure out my Wisconsin taxes?

-List the dates you have visited Wisconsin since establishing residency in another state: ummm, I really thought these United States in which I reside allow me to travel in between them without official documentation. Sorry, I didn't keep those dates in my tax records.

-When you left Wisconsin, did you establish residency in another state?: And exactly what are my options here if I say no? a) I fell off the face of the earth b) I decided to forego the traditional restrictions imposed by society's definition of "residency" and "shelter" and am now proud to call myself a hobo c) I shuffled off this mortal coil but, when I heard that I had the chance to file a tax return, I decided it was a great opportunity to return from the dead d) okay, I guess there's that actual possibility that I moved to another country

-Then you get to finish up with just the usual Wisconsin questions. Tell me about your dairy farm, give money to the Packers, etc, etc.

And while I was sharing my life story with the Wisconsin IRS, Joe went ahead and paid for his New York Mac download. And after a whole different interrogation, TurboTax was able to determine the exciting news that New York owes him... four dollars! That's right, the state of New York is going to buy him a gallon of gas! So, let's see, out of Joe, the government of New York, and TurboTax, who is getting the better end of this deal?
- posted by Darcey @ 11:13 AM

 
Things

1. I won $25 as a result of my football know-how and gambling expertise. Or perhaps it was random chance and beginner's luck. Either way, I got $25 out of something called a square - something everyone at work knows all about, but no one else I talk to seems to.

2. I have the pager for the first time at my new job next week. Pagers beep in the night and make me try to solve problems I don't understand while I'm half asleep. Pagers are very scary.

3. I'm exploring the wonders of upstate New York. Two weekends ago I went to Rochester (and Joe has an iPhone, and that's what my last post was about. I don't know if that was clear - I'm not real skilled with the iPhone typing.) And then tomorrow I'm going off to Joe's school and his hockey team and probably his parents', depending on the weather.

And now it's getting close to bedtime again. How does that happen? But I'm trying to post things...sometimes...
- posted by Darcey @ 8:58 PM